The pseudo-swimmer in a crazy water adventure!

So, the hot girl at the swimming pool, who is just sitting there and eating pie while her friends are all getting their ‘’full dip’’ on, do you see her? For all the time that you’ve been ogling her, she never approached the pool. What the hell? She seems to avoid looking at it.
Ok, now she is just realized that you have nothing else to do but stalk all her movements and so she looks at you very angrily and you’re obliged to look away hurt.

How to say this? The hot girl; that’s me hehehe and the voyeur; that’s you, my friend.
And this is story time, the moment I approach you by the pool and tell you my life story.  (Let’s first acknowledge that this will never happen in real life, the difference between movies and real life).

I am terrified of swimming. I’m not terrified of water. Just . Swimming.
I remember when younger, the swimming instructor had to take me aside and ask me about my grades at school. He thought I was a terribly terrible learner. I had to put him back in his place assuring him that I was always the first of the class and I had my peers to prove it! Despite my ego being flat on bruised and really wanting to prove him wrong, once I got in the water, I just fell miserably in the deep like a potato sac. My brain just shut down all my reflexes. After that summer, I never went back to the pool or any, as a matter of fact.

But; I super love water. Astrologically as a Cancer, my element is water. I can spend a whole hour just standing under the shower, singing to myself which happens to be louder than I always think.  I love standing in the rain and letting it soak me (but then the drying my hair-part becomes time consuming and I don’t have time for that); I also go nuts for waterfalls!

Despite my psychological inability to swim; I did agree one day to do this crazy and fun water park adventure that terrified the holy ghost of me. You know, when you don’t want to be the person that always says no to everything and you agree to everything for the day!
Basically, there was this huge artificial zigzag-like water slide that was carved in a mountain that’s like 20 feet tall and I’m not exaggerating! We actually had to take some sort of elevator to get to the top, and once there, you sit in a sort of balloon and the water pushes you back to the bottom of the slide slowly. That was the terrifying part for me! The water was so slow that if you were to die, you would reach the bottom as a ghost!

But I mean, it really looked easy and it was easy I guess, but something told me (Actually I told myself inside of myself: this doesn’t look fun!) and just to confirm my thoughts, there was a panel explaining the danger that the slide could be to the sick; the faint hearted and the vulnerable. But I was neither, I told myself ha!
I reached the top of the mountain and started to feel sick immediately. But I didn’t want to be a party pooper so I cheered up.
The minute I got in the balloon, I knew I wasn’t going to make it. Realizing that the finish line was 20 feet down and that I would be slowly zigzagging my way to the bottom; my heart sank deeper than the Titanic. During the ride, my eyes were bigger than Gollum’s and I was counting the seconds to when I would have to fall.  Since I’m a big manifestor (as in visualization and manifestation) , few moments later, my balloon hit a corner and I found myself in the water, head first.
Now; I learned that later, but actually the water was as deep as a bathtub, but for my traumatized mind, it felt like I was diving in an infinite swimming pool. I heard voices and so I started to jerk my arms like a madwoman and grabbed someone with all my strength (with my nails making an anchor into the skin of the unfortunate person) and I didn’t let go, until I felt arms pulling me up and starting to breath normally.
(I really do hope that wherever that guy is, he will be able to have children. I really damaged him with my grip ahem ahem!)

My breathing came back to normal and I did look around. There were concerned faces around me and I felt an explanation was needed. I said louder than I should: <I DON’T KNOW HOW TO SWIM!> to which everyone replied with numerous WTF and started judging me. I have to say we all are standing in the water or sitting in balloons and this is a pretty funny sight but trust me, no one is laughing and they are just looking at me worried. They all want to kill me! No, eat me piece by piece, for interrupting their peaceful zigzag slide along a 20 feet tall mountain!
Luckily a lifeguard comes at the moment and he shows me an exit to the mountain where I finish the race by walking and I didn’t even know what to say or to think; I was just glad the torture was over!

Of course everyone was laughing at me the whole day asking me if I really didn’t realize that the water was as deep as bathtub! The guy I almost made sterile was looking at me angrily after I thanked him for saving my life and he showed me his arm were my nails had scorched his skin (Inside I was like pfiouu, thank you for showing only your arm)…

So, moral of the story?
1. Next time at the pool, if I’m just sitting there eating pie, you’ll know the reason.
2. Always do the things that scare you, otherwise they’ll be no stories for your blog.
3. If you don’t know how to swim and the adventure includes water, maybe just say no.
4. Learn how to swim or go live in the desert…


2 Responses
  • Rose T.
    July 11, 2017

    “2. Always do the things that scare you, otherwise they’ll be no stories for your blog.” Say it again for the people in the back!

    I’m sorry that I laughed so hard at this story and what was your misery at the time but thank you for sharing!

  • Christella Bijou
    July 13, 2017

    Rose,Thank you for reading and I’m super glad that it made you laugh!!
    I do the same too whenever i think about it. ♥♥♥

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