You just can’t refuse social invitations all the time without sounding rude or unreliable. Sometimes you have to say yes even if you don’t feel necessarily excited or motivated.
While social events can be a good time to be entertained, get to know new people, get introduced to new opportunities it can also cause dread and anxiety for introverts. That’s why it is good to always have a plan or few tips up on your sleeves to help you relax, socialize and be able to have a good time.


I don’t mean here to bring your new adopted puppy, although on second thought it might be a really good ice breaker. I mean your loyal friend. You might have a few besties around, pick the one that has less chances of disappearing in the crowd after 5 min. Be open to your friend and let her/him know how you are feeling. I mean, she/he is not there to babysit you, but someone who cares will help you feel more lively and energized.

I once spent the whole time at an event focused on my shoes. It was a seated event, where my shoes were less likely to be seen but I spent the whole time asking myself the reason why I picked sandals that made my toes look huge. During the conversations, I was so tensed and self-conscious imagining my interlocutor looking at my shoes and thinking: ”wow, those are huge toes!”. Now I’m pretty sure very few people remember me and even fewer remember my shoes but it ruined my day. So please, don’t just hop into an outfit, chose clothes that are comfortable, that make you feel good and confident and you will find it easier to feel less stressed and ready to socialize.

Conversations can get too much and too bearing and you just want to escape but you can’t leave yet, it is still too early. Locate a zone where you can retreat to regain your composure. Bathrooms used to be the best zones, but now there are full of pretty girls taking selfies and you don’t want to creep them out by staying too long. Balconies are also very cliché. Try to find a place where you can stay for 5min to catch your breath and re-center yourself.

Introverts need to decompress after social events. It is a must since social gatherings can become really intense. After one too many events, you can start resenting people and you don’t want to go there.
Space up the times that you have to go out. Recharge by meditating; take walks; pour yourself a glass of wine, anything that will help you unwind and release the tension from socializing.


2 Responses
  • Mpinga
    May 13, 2018

    I am an introvert living in Kigali, and I don’t know if this makes sense but I tend to be self conscious about my own introversion, when it comes to social events/gatherings. I have never thought of these tips before, I’ll see which one works best for me 🙂

  • Christella Bijou
    May 14, 2018

    Mpinga, I know well the wallflower feeling 🙂 but I’ve been so open about it that it no longer stress me like before!I say it to whoever wants to hear lol
    And I always bring a friend so that I will have someone to chat to. That really helped me being at ease in social events.Hope these will help you

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